Having clear intentions is vital for a healthy marriage. Although vows are usually exclusive to union ceremonies, a new, growing breed of conscious people is creating and practicing these vows at any stage of a relationship. If you are currently in a relationship sit down with your partner and re-examine what you want from each other. For those of you who are looking for that special person, use these vows to help crystallize what kind of marriage you want.
The vows below are created from observing relationship successes and challenges in my work as a therapist. I hope this list will inspire you to create marriage vows that are nourishing and fulfilling.
~I vow to enrich my personal life with enjoyable activities outside of the marriage and use this nourishment to deepen our connection.
~I vow to always be respectful to you. If I feel I cannot uphold this, I vow to walk away until I can be respectful.
~I vow to stand by you when I see your life getting hard.
~I vow to create and protect quality time for us to spend together every week.*
~I vow to encourage and inspire you to find and fulfill your life’s work.
~I vow to respect your need for outside friendship and support.
~I vow to let go of my need to be right.*
~I vow to share my deep, innermost thoughts and fears with you, exposing all and holding nothing back, so that you may know who I truly am.
~I vow to share my appreciation for the little things you do that give our marriage great meaning.
~I vow to tell you when I’m scared, choosing vulnerability over anger.
~I vow to ask for your support when I’m in need of help, and I vow to acknowledge the reality that you cannot read my mind…EVER.
~I vow to not take our companionship for granted as the long years roll by.
~I vow to be appreciative, open, and curious about our sexual connection. I vow to regularly discuss our sex life, whether it be fantastic, boring, physically painful, or nonexistent.*
~I vow to be present with you when you want my attention, and when I cannot be present, I vow to tell you this.
~I vow to clearly and respectfully communicate when I’ve had a hard day and want time alone. I vow to use this time to take care of myself so that I do not take my daily stresses out on you.
~I vow to be honest in all my affairs with you, even when it is difficult for me to do so.
~I vow to return to my original vows when I fall short in my intentions.*
* I find these vows powerfully effective in building strong , loving, changing, “we’ve come a long way, baby” relationships.
By: Sevin Philips, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist