According to the College Foundation of North Carolina (2016), self-confident people are more successful in all areas of their lives. Conversely, the most successful people tend to have the highest levels of self-confidence.
Most people are not born with an abundance of self-confidence…I mean it’s not like a baby comes out of the womb ready to conquer the world with a smile on his or her face. No, self-confidence is learned through exploring the world, understanding your assets and limitations, and learning through trial and error. And, although many people develop a good self-confidence during adolescence, some never fully experience a boost in self-confidence due to poor parenting, relationship issues, health problems, social awkwardness, bullying, low self-esteem, etc. In other words, there are a thousand different reasons why someone doesn’t feel self-confident.
And, guess what? Some people gain self-confidence, in general, but lose it in certain situations (i.e. presenting in front of an audience or addressing a slight or mistreatment). Others lose it as they age due to life experiences that have caused them to doubt themselves (i.e. appearance/excessive or low weight, handicaps, learning disabilities, abuse, and/or limited skills). The good news is that you don’t have to live with low self-confidence. You don’t have to doubt yourself. Thankfully, self-confidence is fluid, meaning that it can change – build with time, patience, and determination. How? Well, that is why you have me! My goal is help you boost your self-confidence, while having some fun. That doesn’t sound so bad, does it? I didn’t think so!
Listed below are fun ways to boost your self-confidence so you never doubt yourself again:
Superman’s Cape is a self-confidence building activity that you can do with your close friends or relatives during a “get-together,” “sleepover,” holiday party, baby shower, bridal shower, birthday party, or even a luncheon at home. How does it work? Well, first each person in the group writes their names in large print along one of the edges of a long piece of flimsy white paper (cape length) (FYI – make sure the paper is not too flimsy where it will easily tear). Each person needs his or her own piece of paper. Then, you cut a circle in the middle of each piece of paper. The circle should be big enough to go over each individual’s head. When each person places his or her head through the circle his or her name should rest on his or her chest.
The rest of the paper should fall behind the person like a flowing cape. Once each person has his or her cape on, all of the guests should (one-by-one) write something positive on the other guests’ capes. For instance, all of the guest will write something on a guest’s cape like “Mary has the best fashion sense” or “I can tell Mary anything because I know she will listen and be understanding.” Each person will take turns writing positive affirmations on each person’s cape until the capes are filled with compliments and praise. Once everyone has had an opportunity to write something positive on the other guests’ capes, each person will remove his or her cape and read aloud what the others have written about him or her. As a result, you will not only feel better about yourself (i.e. more confident and positive), you will brighten someone else’s day as well.
Lights, Camera, Action!
Have you ever dreamt that you were a famous actor or actress? Or, have you ever wondered what it would be like to be famous? If so, you are definitely not alone. In fact, many people dream about being a famous actor, singer, writer, or anything one day. But, many also exclaim that there is “no way they could or would have the self-confidence to put themselves ‘out there’ like that…” Well, with this activity you will become that glamourous entertainer that you dreamed of as a child, teen, or even as an adult. How? Well, by creating your very own commercial! Wait…what?! First, you will need to write a short script (a few minutes tops) that explains why someone should hire as an actress, actor, singer, dancer, etc. The goal is to detail why you are an awesome person. “What makes you stand out?” “What makes you special?”
If you are having problem thinking of what makes you “so cool,” call your best friend, parents, sister, brother, romantic partner/spouse, etc. and ask them. I’m sure they will have plenty of positive things to say on your behalf. Write down what they say and craft a stellar script from that. Don’t be afraid to BRAG! BRAG! And, then BRAG some more! Once you are finished with your award-worthy commercial script, grab a friend or relative and have him or her film your commercial on a Smartphone or video camera.
Make sure your commercial is entertaining – in other words, have fun with it. Act silly; add music, graphics, singing, dancing, jokes, etc. to your commercial. FYI – you don’t have to professional dancer, singer, etc. to add it to your commercial. The goal is to remind you how amazing you really are, while having a blast. So, what if you are a little tone deaf or you can’t stay on beat to save your life. Who cares – you still rock! So, get out there and strut your stuff. In other words, let the world know you have arrived!!!
By now most people have heard of Adele’s new song, “Hello,” however; most people don’t know that it is also a self-confidence building activity that is quite interesting. What is this game? Well, it is amazing that’s what! So, how does it work? Well, grab a couple sheets of notebook paper, and then write a letter to yourself. What…a letter to myself? Yep! A letter to yourself. How is that fun? It’s fun because you get to document your life at this stage. In other words, you get to talk about things you like and dislike (FYI – this can also include people), where you are in life right now and where you want to be in 5 years, what makes you stand out, what you need to improve on, who your friends are now, your favorite foods, music, movies, sitcoms, where you work right now, who your co-workers are and whether you like or dislike them, your dream job, and all of the great things you have accomplished up until this time.
Once your imaginary self has finished telling your “real” self about who you are and what makes you an awe-inspiring person, you will be ready to fold the letter up and put it away for safe keeping. Make a pact with yourself to read your letter in 5 years. Once you read the letter, write down, on a separate piece of paper, all of things you have actually accomplished since your letter five years ago, and all of things you are still working on. Right another letter to yourself at that time and repeat the previous process, seal it up, and put it away. And, in another 5 years, read it and evaluate your progress. Seeing all of the things you have accomplished written in your letter will not only boost your confidence, it will also remind you that with hard work and determination there is nothing you can’t accomplish.
This is another confidence-boosting activity that is best performed with a couple of close friends or relatives. Brag books are scrapbooks that focus on YOU! So, how does it work? Well, first get together your closest confidants and get comfy. You probably want to do it at someone’s home, so things are relaxed. Turn it into a small “lunch or dinner party” or a fun “get together.” You may want to have fun foods like wings, hamburgers, sodas, sandwiches, pizza, sweets, chip and dip, rotel, wine, beer, etc. there to liven the mood. Then, pull out all of your scrapbooking materials and get to work. The aim is to make the book about your accomplishments (FYI – it doesn’t matter when they occurred), skills, talents, assets – the things you are most proud of. So, if you are proud of getting married, put that in your brag book, or if you are proud of purchasing your first car at 16, put that it the book.
This is YOUR book featuring all of your accomplishments and assets so don’t be afraid to brag on yourself. You can even put your old report card where you made all “As” in the book, if that is something that made you feel good about yourself. Nothing is off limits. Also, don’t forget to add your most flattering pictures and/or images from magazines that best describe you. Be creative! Moreover, don’t forget to highlight your best attributes (i.e. personality traits and skills) – make them stand out on the page. Once you have finished share your book with your friends and/or relatives. Pass all the books around and talk about things that the each person may have accidentally left out of his or her book. Keep it positive! Use the things that others say about you as a self-reflecting tool. In other words, think about the things that you left off that your friends and family noted and add them to your repertoire of all of the things that make you extra special.
Burton, N. (2012). Building confidence and self-esteem. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/building-confidence-and-self-esteem
College Foundation of North Carolina. (2016). Self-confidence: A key to success. Retrieved from https://www1.cfnc.org/Home/Article.aspx?articleId=TKZjBonzsuebU8XAP2BPAXEAiXAP2FPAX11wXAP3DPAXXAP3DPAX&level=3XAP2FPAX6J7I3kztATGuYyXAP2BPAXDahIQXAP3DPAXXAP3DPAX
Mind Tools. (2016). Building self-confidence. Retrieved form https://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html