I’m here to talk about long-term relationships and marriages when the sex life either disappears or is changed drastically, and one or both people are unhappy. It is so common, I think most of you would be surprised. People come into couples counseling and talk about it all the time. It’s natural; life is complex, our sexuality is a complex thing, and when you’ve been with somebody for a long time, life events happen, things change that get in the way. Here is some of the main ones that I find:
The first thing is that if you’re resentful, you’re bickering and you’re fighting often, this gets in the way of sex. You have to understand that. There’s a difference for most of us, we cannot push through; we need to feel we care about our partner and we like our partner in order to feel sexual. It is important for most people. If this is you, you really need to work on your communication, you need to get some help – if you need it – with your resentment, and you need to work that out with your partner for your sexuality to improve.